Crimes real and imagined

 

Think of all those thousands of stag and hen parties each weekend

Should the population as a whole be measured?

Or just those legally allowed to drink?

All these variables show how easy it is to be forced to take drink

Even back in the 19th Century

Mr John Alberson was indicted for breaking 756 Pubs across the UK

in a stag party lasting 24 years.

But the Judge said the defender was scared by his actions.

Everyone wants to be number one in the number of pubs destroyed league

Admitted Mr John Alberson own mother, with a whisky in hand

Prosecutors say he appeared at her home usually two to four days a week,

Always looking for new places to try.

His avowed aim was to ‘Blow up the Middle Classes’

But that also ended up in front of the Judges.

Some of the crimes outlined in other trials,

you just don’t see anymore

Such as 1500 bigamist’s publishing pamphlets,

encouraging the assassination of someone in New Zealand.

Other crimes are more familiar today,

Such as voting UKIP or being a Tory.

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